Dating in itself is not easy but dating as a millennial makes it ten times harder. With social media and various technologies infiltrating our daily lives, dating has taken a turn for the worst, and many say it’s because of the heightened temptation and the lack of mature communication. Whether this is true or not, we have to admit that if we look back on the golden years; the years where our grandparents or even our parents fell in love, a whole other picture is painted about love and relationships. Back then things seemed to have been simple and straightforward – people communicated their thoughts and feelings verbally and there was no such thing as ‘ghosting’, or not calling back. Couples put in effort and strived to make things work, unlike Gen Y, who subconsciously know they can just find someone else – and all it takes is a click of a button or a simple swipe right.
Dating has become a scary thing for most because they see the complexities that come with it. If they haven’t personally been hurt by the millennial dating scene, their friends have – and it scares them away. Especially the ones who take relationships seriously and who actually want them to be solid, simple and mature.
Unfortunately, the only way anything is going to change, is if we become the change. We as millennials need to take action against this destructive way of handling relationships, instead of passively accepting the way it has evolved. But how do we do this? Well, we have a few handy tips for you, but before we get to that we just want to remind you of a few things. Implementing these tips is not going to be easy – especially when most millennials truly believe dating is a game. If, however, you see these techniques not being reciprocated by your love interest, it may be time to just move on!
Much of the destruction of today’s millennial dating scene comes from bad communication. Millennials have lost the ability to communicate effectively – and have, in fact, lost the ability to communicate face to face. They find it daunting and difficult because it’s easier to just drop a text and say what needs to be said without having to deal with the other person’s reactions. Hiding behind a screen means avoiding responsibility or accountability, and in this day and age it seems like Gen Y would do whatever it takes to bypass these factors – especially when it comes to dating. Another issue with texting is that it opens the door for misinterpretation, as the person reading the text is unsure of the tone that’s being used, because the texter cannot relay this with written words. It causes frustration and may lead to misunderstandings that were never meant in the first place. You see how technology complicates something that should be so simple? That’s why it’s imperative that both you and your love interest know how to communicate verbally, and face to face. If you want things to always remain clear between you, then little should be said over text.
Don’t make social media the center of your life.
Social media is the root cause of arguments or even break-ups amongst the millennial generation. Why? Because it’s filled with temptation which could cause upset amongst couples. For example: a man likes another girl’s picture; his girlfriend sees it, which causes her to feel insecure about the relationship and his intentions. This could be the same in the reverse situation, and as we know it only has the potential to cause unnecessary turbulence.
Another negative about social media is that we turn to it for instant gratification. It has become a bad habit for many of us, and it often doesn’t stop even when one enters into a relationship. This too can cause upset, because it’s thought that couples should turn to each other for gratification and validation and not others; and if you and your partner are not on the same page regarding this, then it’s undoubtedly going to cause issues.
And lastly, social media also gives too many people the opportunity to know too much about your relationship, especially if you’re the type of couple to constantly post about it. It’s important to keep some things private if you want to keep things simple.
Give each other space.
This point is so important for any relationship. Always give each other space! Neither one should feel caged, or ‘watched’, by the other. Yes, you are in a relationship but you are also individuals who deserve some alone time – or time to just see friends and family outside of the relationship. Allow him to see the boys every now and then – let him go out and do boyish things without you, like paintballing or football games. You should both feel free to make your own plans with the girls or guys every now and then. Even though we as a generation have the power to instant message our partner when they’re away from us, we should know when it’s the right and wrong time to do it. A healthy relationship is one that is based on trust and if a fair amount of freedom creates insecurity and distrust, then perhaps this is an area you both need to work on.
Don’t commit if you don’t know what that means.
If you are unsure of what is required of you as partner, then you should consider staying single rather. Commitment means keeping things transparent, trusting your partner and giving your partner reason to trust you. It’s about remaining loyal, working together and continuously improving yourself, to improve the relationship. It’s about effective communication and always keeping things uncomplicated when it comes to sharing your thoughts and feelings – and giving your partner the chance to share theirs too.
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