Stay in Love
Married couples who have remained together through all the tough times and challenges of life do so because they are still in love with each other and believe it is one of the important Godly relationships in life. Everyone knows one of these cute little couples who go everywhere together and just really seem to enjoy the company of the other. So how do these long-married couples do it?
Well, adoring couples actually adore one another. This may not be a common word in use today but it is highly regarded in literature as an esteemed word used only for the closest and most intimate Godly relationships. Adoration in this context means to love, worship, and idolize another. Adoration is glorifying another through a demonstrated love. It’s active, real, and alive.
Marriage is a Proper Context for Adoration
Married couples who are open, honest, and really close almost seem to know what the other is thinking before they think it. These happiest of couples have learned to adore the other in a relationship that was created for adoration. There is no other relationship like marriage. It is a place where two people who deeply love one another can share honest and open intimacy between the smallest of clubs – membership limited to only two.
Couples who adore each other are genuinely interested in the happiness, well-being, and pleasure of another. And they place that priority of the others feelings and happiness above their own. Ever wonder how these couples stay together for 30, 40, 50 years or more? They have learned how to adore one another. It is one of the best Godly relationships on earth.
Married and Adored, it’s a Beautiful Thing
Look at the blogs and listen to the conversations of a newly married couple. What are they talking about? What subjects dominate their conversation? Even more important, how do they speak to one another? How do they regard the others opinions and musings? Everyone knows the answer to these questions. They adore each other and it shows in their glances, their body language, and their tone of voice.
Marriage is such a special and unique relationship and there are things that are possible in marriage that are not possible in other relationships. Being married in itself is a pretty great thing; being married and mutually adoring makes the marriage relationship exponentially better. To adore only one and be adored by one alone is something that is so rare in this fickle world. When it is attained in marriage, it is indeed a thing of exquisite beauty.
Marriage Adoration – What Happened?
So if mutual adoration is so great and newly married folks seem to have cornered the market on it, why doesn’t it stick? Some couples slowly, gradually, almost imperceptibly move away from this state of mutual adoration and into a sort of malaise and apathy toward one another. The relationship that once included only the two of them is now crowded with other things.
Careers, children, health problems, and many other distractions are allowed into the sanctuary of the marriage relationship and eventually the couple is no longer focused on each other. These other things demand more and more time and energy from the once sickeningly sweet talking love birds, they’re weakened and eventually pulled apart.
Love may still be there, but adoration has all but disappeared. Neither partner has the energy or inclination to continue working toward mutual adoration. They may begin to take one another for granted and perhaps even resent the other for letting the relationship get so far out of kilter. Resentments, left to do their worst, will eventually destroy the marriage.
Godly relationships that end in tragedy could be so easily avoided by a little effort from one or both partners. Marriage was intended to be forever and in some circles in society it is still regarded as a forever relationship. But forever relationships require effort, sacrifice, and selflessness in order to survive. Think about a time when adoration of another was a part of everyday life and remember what grand, happy days those were. It’s time to get back there and start restoring that marriage today.
Avoid Poor Communication
In this world of so many differing value systems and complex moral opinions, it’s difficult to determine just what is right and what is wrong, especially when it comes to relationships. Married Godly relationships are becoming even more challenging because of the dynamics involved in this most complex of relationships.
Maybe things have started to occur within the marriage relationship that seem different, or just a bit off. Things like a feeling that the other partner doesn’t show as much appreciation as before, or an indefinable feeling of uneasiness or tension. Perhaps it’s time to isolate some of these behaviors and feelings in order to identify some possible problems in the relationship.
Communication is Key in Godly Relationships
This is nothing new but it certainly bears repeating because communication problems are always at the top of the list in identifying problems with any relationship, but especially marriage. Effective, fulfilling communication is something that must be practiced and continually worked on throughout the marriage.
Without good, open communication, problems and conflicts will be difficult to resolve, if indeed they are resolvable at all. Because marriage is a partnership, it’s critical that both partners are open, honest, and willing to not only initiate communication, but also provide an environment where any subject may be discussed without fear of judgment or criticism.
Bad Communication Creates a No-Win Situation in the Marriage
So many things need to be right in order to just prepare to reach a good level of effective communication between partners. However difficult it may be, effective, open, and honest communication must be achieved. When partners know they can be honest without any sort of critical judgment or reprisal, then good communication is attainable.
No one wants to open up and be vulnerable knowing that an attack is even remotely possible. Both partners must agree to be non-judgmental before any deep and meaningful level of discussion can be reached. Make a commitment to purposefully take a no-reaction approach to anything the other partner might bring up. Otherwise, neither partner is motivated to open up first, and effective communication is not possible. Neither partner wins.
Decide to be a Great Listener and Find a Solution
It’s time to put on the big boy or big girl panties and be an adult, or at least act like one. A mature adult is capable of setting emotions, pain, and selfish desires aside for the sake of open and honest communication. A mature adult is a listener, not a reactionary, emotional time bomb. This honest listening type of communication allows for honest dialogue, without which there would be no point of discussing anything. Honesty is not for sissies, it’s a hot summer hardball game in a tough Saturday night double-header.
Listen to the other partner in this relationship as defense lawyer would listen to a prosecuting attorney. The goal here is to listen, discover, and reach an agreement or solution. Isn’t that what this marriage is all about anyway? If a solution seems improbable for the moment, make every attempt to end the conversation on a positive note. If both partners truly love one another and want to preserve the marriage, then this should be a common goal and this will become one of the best Godly relationships.
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