There are many reasons why couples may be spending the holidays alone and this is one of the basic principles of marriage management. Whether newlyweds are establishing their own traditions, financial constraints are changing annual travel plans or the couple is home with an empty nest, the winter holidays do not have to be dreary. The best ways for married couples to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve or Easter without their extended families or kids include choosing what matters the most, creating new traditions and seeking out others in a similar situation.
Plan a Traditional Christmas or Winter Holiday
Although married couples may not be looking forward to spending the holidays alone, but in terms of marriage management there is a certain freedom to pick and choose what is important to each partner when they are the only ones to consider. If previous years have been spent rushing around to make both sets of parents happy, the couple may be happy to have a low-key holiday.
To plan a traditional Christmas or Thanksgiving, each partner should consider what he or she loves most about the holiday. Is it watching football all day on Thanksgiving? Is it having a traditional Thanksgiving feast or sharing sentimental stories? Each partner can choose what means the most to him or her and incorporate it into the day. For example, if a large Thanksgiving meal is important the couple can take time to select the holiday menu and prepare the meal together. If the holiday is more about sharing stories and dessert, the couple can pull out photo albums or home movies and spend the day reminiscing. When it is just the couple celebrating, the husband and wife can focus on what matters most to them.
New Traditions and Unique Christmas Ideas
Sometimes couples who are spending the winter holidays alone may feel as though a traditional celebration with just the two of them would be lonely or depressing. This may be especially true for couples celebrating the holidays alone due to loss or distance. If that is the case, then as per marriage management shake things up by trying unique ideas to create new traditions.
Think about new ways to spend the day or new places to eat dinner. For example, a couple whose family has always prepared a formal dinner for Thanksgiving may want to try going out to dinner at a restaurant. The couple may also try volunteering at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving or Christmas to spread holiday cheer with others. Go to a parade, participate in a turkey trot race together (or cheer on the competitors), or try a different religious holiday service each year.
Another option is to try a different location for the holidays. Getting away can be as simple as spending the holiday at a bed and breakfast or as elaborate as going on a holiday cruise. One option is to spend the Thanksgiving holiday is planning a getaway for the Christmas holiday or New Year’s Eve. Trying different options will help the couple create new memories of the holidays and possibly, new traditions as well. This is one of the primary tips in marriage management.
Christmas Parties and Holiday Entertaining
A final option that blends both a traditional holiday celebration and the desire to create new experiences and traditions is to host other couples for Christmas parties and holiday entertaining. Other married couples and singles are in a similar situation and might not be looking forward to spending the holiday alone. Be the couple who welcomes others to a dinner party on the holiday. Invite different people each year or create a holiday “family” that gathers every year.
The best part about holiday entertaining is that the party can either have the feel of a traditional celebration or not. One idea for a Christmas theme party is to set up the Christmas tree the day of the party and have guests help trim the tree. Serve hot cocoa and share memories of past Christmases or have a gift exchange. It’s up to the hosts to decide if they want a large turkey complete with all the trimmings for Thanksgiving or a more refined dinner party without a holiday theme.
Spending winter holidays alone doesn’t have to be lonely for married couples says marriage management expert. Pull out the linen tablecloth and china dishes or kick back with some rich appetizers and football to enjoy the most meaningful parts of the holiday. Try a new experience each year to create new holiday memories. Combine a traditional celebration with new themes and new people by hosting holiday dinner parties with other couples who are alone on the holidays.
Basic Difference Between Male and Female Thought Patterns
Just as men and women are different physically, they also think in different ways. Unless this is understood and allowances made, it can lead to great fiction in a marriage. Although everyone is unique, there are certain areas which commonly need attention in a union and these needs to be worked on.
In their book, Incompatibility, Still Grounds for a Great Marriage (Multnomah Publishers, 2006), Chuck and Barb Snyder state that men are usually motivated by things and actions whereas women are more relational and think about life and friendships. These motivations lead to them approaching life from completely different viewpoints.
How Do Thoughts Affect a Marriage
A shopping trip is a good example of how thoughts and motivations can cause friction. A man normally has a goal in mind – for example to buy a set of screwdrivers. He will generally head straight to the hardware store, find what he wants, pay, and go home.
A woman may approach a shopping trip with a specific goal such as a new set of towels but thrives on shopping along the way. She may visit three or four stores that sell towels, browse through several other shops and enjoy a cup of coffee before deciding which towels to purchase.
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