Many women wonder why men cheat on them and marriage management has an answer. It’s an age-old question, and there is no one simple answer for every couple or situation. There are, however, some common reasons men stray. Here are just a few.
Men Cheat When They are Bored
Not all men seek the constant thrill of something new and exciting, but for a select few, boredom can drive them to another woman’s bed. Men who are energized by the thrill of secrecy that goes along with cheating will seek out situations that bring him that level of excitement. It isn’t that he is sick of his current flame. It’s that once he is comfortable with her he needs to get attention elsewhere.
Men Cheat When They Don’t Love the Women They are With
One of the most confusing things about men is that they will stay with a woman they know they aren’t going to get serious about or marry. Some men may enjoy the company of a certain woman, but if he doesn’t love her he may seek out the bed of someone else.
Men Cheat When They Feel Pressure
Whether it’s at work or in a relationship, a man that feels he’s being backed into a corner may stray as a form of release. From the man’s point of view, the affair is something he feels in control of. Rather than talk to his woman or his boss, he may seek out an affair to regain the reigns of his life.
Men Cheat at Bachelor Parties
Grooms-to-be are the ones who get accused of cheating, but in reality it may be one of his buddies who strays at the bachelor party. Often a man’s married friends insist on having a stripper or going to a gentlemen’s club where they drink a bit too much and thus, end up behaving poorly. These types of guys have a sense of nostalgia for their single life, and feel they deserve to party it up.
Men Who Remain Friends With an Ex Will Cheat
While men and women can certainly be friends, having an ex-girlfriend as a close friend can sometimes give men who wouldn’t normally cheat an easy way to cross the line. There are times in any relationship when people fight or experience a rough patch emotionally. It is during those times that men may feel the need to lean on their friend for support.
However, if the man or his ex have lingering feelings from a relationship, a simple heart-to-heart talk may develop into a trip down memory lane where the ex-couple talks about the times they spent together. Often one person will have stronger feelings than the other, even when they are broken up. When a relationship is vulnerable, a man may seek out his ex because he momentarily feels it’s easier than his current relationship.
Men Having Emotional Affairs Cross the Line into Cheating
Some men fall into an emotional affair with a coworker or friend. While many emotional affairs never cross the line into physical cheating, some do. In these cases, men are lured into believing that the emotional bond they feel for their friend is deeper than that of their wife or girlfriend. It is only after these men cross the physical line that they realize the relationship with their friend was wrong.
The reasons why men cheat are varied. Some men fall into cheating patterns, while others slip up when an opportunity arises. To really understand why a man has cheated on his wife or girlfriend, women need to be wise to the signs of cheating and talk about it with her man. It is possible to move beyond cheating, but it takes an honest look at the relationship and hard work on the part of the couple.
While these reasons may help explain why a man cheats, the hurt and confusion that come with cheating can linger for years. Women should seek out a reputable third party to help her deal with the grief involved so she can move on to a healthy relationship.
Surviving an Affair and Relationship Coaching
Marriage infidelity and surviving an affair is not uncommon. From scandalous affairs rocking the lives of celebrities, royalty, religious leaders or within families, cheating takes a tragic toll on innocent family members.
Marriage Infidelity – Emotional Scars
The feelings aroused from discovering a cheating spouse can cause a huge impact in people’s daily lives, affecting children and extended family members.
Emotions experienced can include rage, confusion, grief, guilt anxiety and intense pain. “A marital breakdown normally produces a huge eruption of emotions,” explains the book How to Survive Divorce. “A person may swing from certainty to doubt, from anger to guilt or from trust to suspicion.”
Marriage mates generally invest a lot into a marriage, from sharing hopes, dreams, finances, expectations of teamwork and the belief that they have a permanent confidant. When the cheating spouse betrays his or her mate, this trust dissipates.
Surviving an Affair – Reconcile or Divorce?
Whatever the decision, divorce or reconciliation is not going to be easy. A damaged marriage will take time and effort to rebuild. Sometimes it is more than simply a question of forgiveness; there may be underlying problems that need to be addressed before reconciliation can happen. A decision to divorce may be made impulsively, and regretted later on.
In surviving an affair and moving forward, the injured spouse needs to ask herself:
Is her cheating spouse really sorry, has he apologized? Or is he only sorry that he was caught out?
Is he blaming other people besides himself for the affair?
Has he ended the extra marital relationship?
Is he open to communication and the re-building of his marriage?
Is he firmly resolved not to repeat the wrong?
These and other questions will help her (or him) determine whether or not it is worth the emotional investment and hard work involved in mending a marriage broken by infidelity.
Free Marriage Counseling for Troubled Marriages
If the couple cannot seem to sort problems out themselves, or if there is too much conflict, it may be time to call in the help of a counselor. This may provide a neutral ground where couples can express themselves and communicate effectively.
There are several ways of going about getting free marriage counseling. Consider approaching a spiritual leader or leaders. Couples often find that bringing God into a marriage and applying religious principles can help them sort out marital difficulties.
Free marriage counseling online is another way of finding the help necessary. Be careful of scam artists, though. Some counselors claim provide a free service but will charge exorbitant fees one way or another further down the line, such as strongly recommending certain self help books.
Books, magazines and articles written by those who have been through the pain of discovering marriage infidelity, divorce or reconciliation can give the injured party ideas or encouragement on how best to proceed.
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