How do you know when to take him back or leave? How do you know is he interested or just friendly? There is no right or wrong answer, but there are a few telltale signs that distinguish a relationship that is having a few problems from one that is entirely broken.
After an Emotional Affair
When your partner has betrayed your trust with an emotional affair, the decision to leave the relationship or stay and work it out can be especially difficult. Before you decide, make sure he knows exactly why you are upset.
For example, if boyfriend wants to be friends, be very specific about why you felt his behavior was inappropriate. Was he hiding calls or emails? Lying about spending time with his friend? Make sure your partner understands what an emotional affair really is and why it is harmful to your partnership. If he understands, then give him a second chance. If not, he will likely do the same thing again. Before taking a step it is suggested to clearly understand is he interested or just friendly.
When He Dumps You
If he breaks up with you and again the boyfriend wants to be friends, ask him why he wants a second chance at the relationship. It is important to understand the timing of his request. Is he feeling lonely or guilty? Or has he had a life-changing event occur that has given him the clarity to see your relationship in a new light? Try to figure out very well is he interested or just friendly.
It is not unusual for someone to change one’s mind about a break up, so be clear on his reasons for wanting you back. If he wants to work on things because he knows you are the best person for him, it may be worth a second chance. If he’s simply tired of being alone or can’t find anyone knew, he may just need time on his own.
When You Regret Breaking Up with Him
Questioning a break up isn’t unusual, especially if you’ve been spending a lot of time with your ex since the two of you ended your relationship. Remember that there was a reason why you broke up, so take a good, hard look at your differences. If you believe that things would be different in the future, ask yourself why. Are you two going to counseling? Making real changes? Is he interested or just friendly henceforth?
If you stayed friends with your ex, perhaps you need some time apart so you can truly see the relationship for what it is. Get some physical and mental distance before you decide to reconcile. Know whether boyfriend wants to be friends again.
When You are On-Again/Off-Again
If you’re one of those couples that continually break up and gets back together, you need to be especially diligent about getting out of that routine. The two of you probably have a passionate relationship in which you argue and reconcile fervently.
But when a couple is in it for the long haul, they will work through their differences rather than break up. The fact that one (or both) of you is willing to completely end your relationship in a moment of fury means that there are underlying problems you need to address.
Regardless of the reason in which you broke up, it might be a good idea to seek a professional counselor to help you work on your issues. A third party can assist you in figuring out the points you need to work on before you agree to get back together. Don’t just say you are going to “work on it,” rather, talk about the specific problems you have and what you are going to do to fix it. If the relationship doesn’t improve within a designated timeframe, then it may be better to end your relationship for good.
Knowing how to end a relationship is one of the most important things you’ll ever have to do in dating. After all, how you end one partnership will ultimately affect the issues you take with you to the next one. And while saying goodbye is never an easy thing, it’s a necessary part of dating.
But how do you end a long-term relationship in the least offensive way possible? Here are a few tips.
The Comfort of Long-Term Relationships
Ending a partnership that has lasted for many years can be especially difficult. Many times people stay in a relationship much longer than they should because they have become comfortable with the present situation, despite remaining unhappy.
Conjure Up an Image of Your Ideal Partnership
Before you end a long-term affair, write down all the characteristics of your perfect partner. Think in terms of innate qualities, rather than physical attributes. Think is he interested or just friendly. Next, determine what you want to get from a relationship.
Take a Step Back From Your Relationship
When you’ve completed these two tasks, take an objective look at your partnership. Do you get what you want from it? Does your partner have the qualities you’ve always wanted? Does your boyfriend wants to be friends again? This exercise will remind you of all the ways you’ve settled, rather than gone after what you wanted. By seeing your relationship as it really is, rather than just looking at the positive memories, you’ll get the courage you need to leave.
End on Good Terms
When it comes time to tell your partner you want out, make sure you choose a time and space that will allow both of you an outlet to vent your feelings. Don’t wait until you’ve already moved on to another relationship, as this will only leave your partner feeling betrayed.
Use an Honest But Direct Approach
Approach your partner honestly, and state the reasons you feel you’ve grown apart or are not working as a couple. Don’t accuse. Rather, use a loving tone that reassures your partner that you want him or her to be happy.
Once you’ve stated your case, allow your partner time to absorb the information. After all, the idea of a break up is new to him. Let your partner express his concerns and frustrations. While this may be difficult to listen to, it is a crucial part of ending a relationship properly.
Make Plans to Move On
When you have both talked about your relationship, make plans to physically remove yourself and your possessions. Don’t linger in a situation you know is over. Make sure you move forward in your actions. Find a new place to live, refrain from calling up your partner out of loneliness, and allow yourself time to grieve.
Take Time to Learn the Lesson
Spend some time by yourself after the break up in order to fully understand why the relationship didn’t work out. When you date again, do it slowly and casually. Don’t try to jump back into a relationship too soon or you might run the risk of repeating the same patterns that ended your other partnership.
Approach your dating life with cautious enthusiasm. Look forward to the new people you meet but don’t place unrealistic expectations on them, especially in the beginning. Simply allow the next relationship to develop naturally, and follow your heart. Take the lessons you’ve learned from the previous relationship and apply them to your new partnership.
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