A cheating spouse can erode a person’s feeling of self-worth and cause a lot of anxiety and stress. Affairs don’t only have emotional consequences, they can have legal consequences too if a couple decides to separate. Also, extramarital activities can also bring sexually transmitted diseases into a relationship. A husband or wife might like to discover if their spouse is having an affair – if only for peace of mind. Here are some top signs to look out for if you think that your partner is being unfaithful.
Social Acceptance of an Affair
If a spouse’s friends are having affairs or recently had extramarital affairs, it can mean that the husband or wife thinks that it is normal or acceptable to be unfaithful too. These changed norms in the social circle make it seem permissible for the partner to cheat too.
Sudden Interest in Appearance & Unexplained Absences Signs of Extramarital Affair
A partner who suddenly takes his appearance very seriously could be having an affair. Of course, he could just be taking a renewed interest in himself but coupled with other signs like new clothes, a different beauty routine or sudden obsession with exercise, this could indicate unfaithfulness.
Has there been a change in your spouse’s normal routine? Or has your partner disappeared off the radar and he is not contactable for a few hours at a time? This could be a sign that he is spending time with someone else. Also, not talking about where he has been or telling stories with strange co-incidences can be a telltale sign of a spouse playing around.
Suspicious Spouse Should Watch out for Elaborate or Sudden Secretiveness
A partner who suddenly locks away her agenda, or protects her computers or phone with a password might mean she has something to hide. Extremely empty pockets and handbags could mean that a husband or wife is very keen to hide his or her tracks – everybody collects train tickets or receipts and not many people throw them away immediately. Are phone bills and credit card invoices freely accessible or are they suddenly hidden away?
Feeding the Spouse a Cover Story
Some cheating spouses tell elaborate cover stories to cover their tracks. If your spouse tells you in minute detail where he was or who he was on the phone with when he doesn’t normally do so, this could also be a warning sign that he is being unfaithful.
Actively Seeking Conflicts With the Spouse
Does it feel as if a partner is actively trying to cause a fight? Or is he suddenly over-critical about petty things or twisting words to start an argument? Seeking conflicts validates the cheater’s reasoning that having a secret lover is OK. It eases his guilt a little and gives him someone to blame for his infidelity.
Let Intuition be a Guidance in Marriage
Intuition is a very powerful thing and if one has an uneasy feeling about something then closer investigation is wise. If a person is suspicious of her spouse, then she needs to question whether there really is something behind it or if it’s just her own insecurity? Self-reflection helps a person become stronger and more self-aware, making it easier to deal with life’s knocks.
Further Action to Deal With Infidelity
If at all possible, broach the subject carefully with the spouse. Explain the grounds for suspicions and seek reassurance. If this is not possible, there might be a friend one can confide in confidentially or seek professional counseling. It is important that the spouse who has indeed been cheated on has a warm and secure support network to help build up her self-esteem.
Why We Stay With Unfaithful Partners
Infidelity is in the news fairly often these days, many times in the form of celebrities who just can’t be faithful. And, if it’s not a celebrity in the news, there are always unfaithful politicians to keep the subject in the headlines. Hearing about such exploits might make people think about their own relationships and wonder if their mate is being true.
In reality, many regular people are struggling just as hard to deal with revelations about their spouse’s infidelity. Cheating is nothing new, in fact, it’s timeless. The pain that such betrayal inflicts upon somebody is equally timeless, finding a way to seep into their everyday thoughts for many years after the events took place.
With so much cheating going around, it’s surprising that any marriage stays together. But, many marriages do stick it out and survive the unthinkable breach of trust and hurt that follows an affair. There are many reasons that men and women stay with unfaithful mates, but some common themes exist in the minds of those willing to take back their unfaithful partner and give it a second chance.
The Children Factor
Many people take back a cheating spouse for the sake of their children. Worry over being a single parent and fighting for custody are common reasons for this decision. Many people have also heard horror stories from friends and family about nasty divorces, financial ruin and drawn out custody battles. The idea of dealing with a broken home is more frightening then dealing with a broken relationship.
The Money Factor
This comes into play differently for men then if does for women. Males often worry about having to pay child support while continuing to support themselves. Females contend with the fact that they’ll likely make less money out in the working world, but they face other issues. Divorced women might not have job skills since they devoted their time to caring for their family, not to developing a career.
The Low Self-Esteem Factor
Being cheated on takes an amazing toll on a person’s self-esteem. Men might feel like the other man must have been better in bed, which undermines their sense of masculinity. Women often feel that the other woman must have been more beautiful and desirable, so they internalize a sense of being ugly and at fault for the affair. Feelings like this make the idea of leaving unbearable, conjuring up fears of always being alone.
While many people have already experienced the pain of an affair, it seems inevitable that many more people will be facing this heartbreaking situation. Some will decide to leave, but many will stay. Couples who do decide to stay together should consider making a term of that reconciliation couples and individual counseling. After all, it’s not a person’s fault that his or her spouse cheated and getting help can help prevent repeated trouble in the future.
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